I used to think my kids getting straight A’s was the best thing they could do. They have taken a couple years from public school and have been homeschooled and this opened up my eyes to many other traits and qualities my babies have.
This time last year Belinda wouldn’t get off the couch. She wouldn’t shower. She wouldn’t brush her teeth. She wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything unless she got hungry. Now again, I know she’s the kid I’m the parent but have you ever tried to parent a child with depression? I am not nearly strong enough to make her move off that couch, trust me I tried. Many of times. I lost my shit a couple times and yelled and pleaded even cried. Her first counseling appointment she was carried in like a baby while screaming she didn’t want to go. When I say like a baby, I mean Mike carried her with one arm under her knees and one arm under her back, struggling the whole time because she kept trying to hold on to things. After a couple visits she was excited to go, asked about it even.
School time came around and we discussed as a family that I thought it would be beneficial for her to go back to school for the sake of her mental health. Elizabeth is fine with sitting at home and being homeschooled because she suffers from horrible social anxiety. Her personality test determined she was 100% introverted. So, Belinda agreed to try school again and if it was something she hated we would not hesitate to pull her and figure out another solution.
The first day of school, she cried. The first time she had to ride the bus, she cried. The first eh three weeks were a mess Between the new computer work and the confusion of being back in public school on top of being basically thrown back to school in 7th grade. But I remember the day she came home and talked about she made a friend. I was so happy. Then she made another. Then she wanted to go to a birthday party. Then she wanted to go to a Halloween party. Then she FaceTimed her friend and they did homework together ♥️She always tells us stories about her and her friends and it warms my heart.
Typically once a week Belinda tells me about her grades. Tonight she was telling me she has a D in Civics and she’s only one point away from a C. We (Mike and I) tell her how proud we are of her. I’m sure some of you reading this are thinking “if my kid got D’s, they’d be grounded”, but we have realized our kids grades are not nearly as important as her mental health. Our motto is “C’s get degrees”. As long as she tries her absolute best (and we know she does by the amount of time she spends on school work) then we are happy. If she stops trying and starts failing then we will have a different conversation, as for right now she tries her hardest and that’s all I ask. She is making friends, making great progress in her mental health, and she is making memories. Memories is the most important part of a childhood. Learning is important but there are so many other ways children can learn other than going to a classroom. Her mental health is important and if that meant pulling her out of school until she graduates then I guess, hello my name is Mrs. Belinda, the high school teacher.
Let your children make choices. Let them talk to you. Listen to them. It could make a world of difference in their happiness.