So now I’m addicted to the joy being behind the camera brings or maybe I’m addicted to hearing Kristy’s “yes queen” or…. Maybe… I’m addicted to the pain caused by the arching. Haven’t decided which yet but I’m addicted none the less. Every chance I get over the next couple years I book a shoot, Valentine’s Day minis, random ass full shoots, basically anytime I got an idea for something it was booked. Kristy and I became good friends over these next years. She seen me through a marriage and divorce, I seen her through a divorce. I watched her become a bonus mom and marry the man of her dreams. She was there to help me through some of the toughest days and for that I can’t thank her enough. I love you ❤️
After a couple years she posted for a Glambassador group, so of course I applied. I remember meeting all the girls for the first time. There were a bunch of us. I was nervous, anxious, and I had every right to be. I was going to be basically naked in front of 12 girls whom most I’ve never met. From previous experiences girls are mean.. so fucking mean.. so I was waiting on someone to talk about my size because once again I was the biggest “friend”. We all got dressed(or undressed) and we posed around the entire studio. Bed, chairs, trees, bathtub, grass, honestly nothing is off limits for us 😂 I’m walking around ass out and all these girls are talking about how beautiful I am. They are talking about how much confidence I carry. Me? What? I have been behind the camera many of times before so it’s almost become natural. So ass out I’m gaining confidence, if these girls think about me like this why do I think about me so badly. Why is everything I tell myself negative? Why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so mean to me but so nice to everyone else? Then it happened. Lala happened. Now anyone that’s seen Lala and my photos we’ve taken together already know that we are like the same person. We have the same exact body type. But I look at her in awe as to how beautiful she is and I look at me as fat and gross. Why? Y’all she has the best ass. But my ass looks mostly the same. So why am I so mean to my ass. I realized that WE are beautiful and honestly we are fucking hilarious together. WE have to be beautiful if she’s beautiful right?
Now I’ve seen myself in black, white, purple, blue, and butt ass naked for these shoots and every single time I get the photos back my jaw drops because I can’t believe it’s me. I can’t believe I can be pretty. But over the years that’s chipped away a little at a time. There are so many pictures that I absolutely love from my photo shoots but this day when I opened that album I was in total shock. Holy shit at my ass. 🤯 Holy shit I finally learned what to do with my damn face. Holy shit at the confidence that I didn’t even know I had. The bathtub photo honestly blew my mind. My booty looks so good. So this is the moment I realized I wanted to help women(and men). I wanted to help them understand that the magazine models isn’t reality. I wanted to help them realize being bigger doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. I wanted them to see me standing proud with a jiggly ass and rolls so they could too. I don’t want any women to go to bed thinking they aren’t skinny enough or no one will love them because they are fat. It’s time to stop this way of thinking. It’s time to be okay being plus size. It’s time to realize beauty doesn’t have a size. It’s time to stand proud in your bikini in front of the ocean and at fuck anyone who has anything negative to say. And that’s what I planned on doing for the rest of my life, and any person I came in contact with I was going to rub that off on them so maybe they can see their worth too. It was in this moment I realized being a glambassador was my favorite part of life. I have seen so many body types and so many people hate their body so I convince them to get behind the camera once (literally only takes once) and see themselves in a different light. IT WORKS EVERY DAMM TIME. So I mean just book the damn life-changing shoot and we’ll talk about the rest later 😘
Also, check out Lala in action as your local esthetician ❤️ Embellished Skin By Lala